My Very First Blog & Why - CANCER-FREE!!

So... where to start?! I am a healthy 26 year old woman... haven't given much thought to my health since it's never been in any sort of serious distress other than your average scraped knee, broken bone, hurting heart types of typical growing pains...

On July 12 around 4am I woke up with severe pain in my right breast and left underarm. I also had what looked like some type of blockage near the surface in a vein (or maybe artery??) of my right breast causing the veins to darken and protrude. I had had a large lump in the right breast for some time however had been told years earlier it was nothing to worry about and never really thought about it again. This particular morning it seemed to have literally grown overnight along with some new lumps on the left side near my underarm.

I did not want to scare anyone by making phone calls at that time of the morning so pulled my courage together and walked to the hospital. To make a long story short hospital staff sent me to another hospital where they simply advised me to see my family doctor ASAP. One small problem... I hadn't had a family doctor in years! That morning I called a clinic I have gone to periodically and asked to be seen by a physician and they agreed (begrudgingly) to make an appointment with me on July 14th. I informed my work and a couple of close friends about this but chose not to tell my family as I did not want to cause them any undue stress if this was nothing to worry about.

July 14th came and I went to the appointment first thing in the morning. The doctor did a breast exam and told me the lump in the right side presents as being approximately 10cm x 12cm, he continues on to say he has never seen a lump this large which has not been cancer. I am alone in the doctor's office with a brave face on. He continues feeling it and says "Wow this is large." I decide to add in some comic relief and tell him "You're not the first person to touch me there and say that!" He laughs; I'm strangely surprised. He says that he'd like to be my family physician even though he is not actually accepting patients however he finds my lumps "interesting" and would like to follow-up on them. "Interesting" - That's one word for them!

He fills out a diagram of breasts with x's marking affected areas and sends me to reception with it and tells me to tell them it is URGENT. I follow this direction, the receptionist stamps a huge, red URGENT stamp on the paper... then stamps it again... then one last time for good measure:

URGENT
URGENT
URGENT

I return to his office to set up a "meet and greet" so he can officially call me his patient, then leave to make a brave trek home. On the way home I call my work-cry, call a friend-bawl, call my mom-sob. I get home, sit with my cats, cats begin cuddling, I get more weepy and cry some more, then decide to sit on the step outside to wait for my mom and sister to rescue me, I just wanted to get out of my own skin. My mom wants to keep me busy... we drop my sister off to work, stop at a scrapbooking store, go visit my grandma in the nursing home, stop at a farmers market. I finally get to my parents house and begin researching... ironically I found a quote that says "If you trust Google more than your doctor it is time to get a new doctor." I don't believe this and continue googling looking for anyone who has ever written about have a lump that is 10cm x 12cm, but I find no one.

The next two weeks is filled with appointments - mammogram, specialist, biopsies, specialist, specialist... everything on an "URGENT" basis. Friends and family are constantly trying to reassure me but of course no amount of reassurance helps when no one knows for sure what is going on inside my body. YES - I understand I may be fine, NO - it doesn't make the wait easier. I receive the mammogram results - The lumps are solid (aka tumors), not fluid filled (aka cysts), 7cm in diameter. I'm given a specialist appointment in a couple of days. The doctor says "We don't know that it's cancer yet so don't go driving off a bridge" I inform the doctor the only thing that would make me drive off a bridge would be pregnancy - cancer you can get rid of. We all laugh - again, strange.

I tell a girlfriend of mine that if this is cancer I am starting a blog... people need to feel like someone out there has been through this and it's not the end of the world. I also let her know that I could act as a public awareness dummy - feel my left breast, several teeny barely there lumps; feel my right breast, if you don't take care of the teeny lumps it turns into one large disgusting mass making it impossible to fit into your bra. I also let her know she can let people know I'm okay with them asking to feel, it's something everyone seems to want to ask but no one (except her) has had the balls. Surprisingly many people took us up on this, not even in a creepy I want to feel boobies way, but in a "OMG I have never felt a lump, what's it like, what does it look like, does it hurt, how big is it," kind of way. I'm happy to make some good come out of this weird growth.

On July 30th I go in to see the specialist for the results of the biopsies that were performed. -No sign of cancerous cells!!! WOW! Biggest smile I've ever mustered up. I have never felt this much relief, I was so relieved I was actually nauseated and sick to my stomach, I text everyone I can think of and begin making plans for a celebration. I'm informed that I will need to have surgeries on each side followed by reconstructive augmentation. I ask how long I would need to be off work for each surgery and I'm told a minimum of 4 weeks after each surgery and a minimum of 3 surgeries. He then cracks a joke - "Do you have a boyfriend?" I say "No", he says "Well good, this will keep it that way!" Crude, but I like it - Hey doc, whatever you say, I'm Cancer-Free!!

So I spend August long celebrating with family and friends and get back to the real world Monday night. I begin thinking, why would I not start a blog just because it's not cancer? I'm sure there are plenty of women sick with worry over a lump that could very well be something a few surgeries can fix. Who says there can only be information on cancerous lumps anyway? I decide to write this to give some hope. I want to track my day to day life for people who may be in this position. I'm scared of losing my breasts, I'm scared of the pain surgery will bring, but still can't get rid of the smile that says "cancer-free!"

So please, keep coming back, I'll keep writing my highs and lows.... I may even add in some juicy stories of hot dates, arguments with friends, or anything else that may be of interest... For now, this is my start and the reason for it.