Post-Surgery Thoughts

I had surgery 12 hours ago and now I'm at home trying to figure out how I feel.

I came out of the anasthetic feeling pain and fear. Terrified to look down. I began asking the nurse sitting beside me questions and looking around the room. She was a total bitch! She tells me 'lay down and respect everyones privacy, they are trying to recover too' not even glancing up from her book. God forbid she slow the progress of her reading to do her job! I lifted my blanket to look down and see what I am working with now after surgery, she reaches with one hand and pulls my blanket back up to my chin. I ask where my mom is and she says 'You are in recovery'... Thats not what I asked, I want to say 'Really?! I thought I was in hell' instead I repeat myself asking where my mom is, then ask if she has been called. She says that if they called everyone patients wanted they'd be on the phone all day. I feel my face going red and I want to let her know that if she wants to be a nurse she should be nice to people and if she wants to be a whore we are only ten minutes from higgins and main. I hold back.

My oxygen levels were dropping to just under 80, I am frustrated and start crying. Head nurse bitch says to take a deep breath, I do and my oxygen goes up. She then takes the oxygen mask off, STILL NOT LOOKING UP FROM HER BOOK, and says to let her know when  I am done crying so I don't dirty the mask. I get an uncontrollable urge to grab her by the hair and shove her face into my freshly sliced up breast so she realizes exactly what I am dealing with. Again I hold back.

Once my oxygen is staying up I get to go back to the area I started in and ask them to page my mom. They do, she comes. A few hours later I was heading for home!

My family and friends have been incredible! I returned home to find a package from a friend hanging on the front door. A friend spent the entire evening with my family and I. My family took care of my every need. My breast is gross, deflated with a drain hanging out - I focus on being healthy and strong...