Good News!

So… I actually wrote this yesterday but I'm having technical difficulties and couldn't post it, also the photos from the last surgery are coming, for some reason I can't upload them right now but I am comfortable sharing them now, so hopefully that will be the next post... there is one with the bandage still on and one of the incision almost healed. The photo with the shirt on and still bandaged was taken on February 16, 2011 - one day after surgery, the other picture was taken February 25, 2011 - ten days post surgery, the day I got the hemovac out and bandages off. This surgery was way WAY easier than the last, I knew what to expect so it wasn’t so scary, and I recovered much faster than I (or anyone else) expected.

February 16, 2011 - One day Post-Op

Ten days post-surgery: Bandages off, Hemovac out

I now have scars on both sides of my chest that are constant reminders of my mixed feelings:

On positive days I look at myself in the mirror and feel like I’ve shown myself how strong I can be when I need to be, like I’ve learned what’s important in life, and realize that my family and true friends have proven to me that they will always be here for me to help get through the things I can‘t get through alone.  On the tougher days I wonder why this had to happen to me, why I’ll have to see the scars for the rest of my life, and feel self-conscious like I don’t want anyone to see these scars. I also get scared wondering how I will deal with it if this happens again, what if next time it is cancer? I wonder if I’ll find someone who will just accept me exactly how I am. I wish mammograms and screening and testing weren’t going to be a part of my reality so early in life, but that is reality and I’m trying to accept it.

The outlook that I most want to keep in mind is that I’m so lucky and I want others to realize how much they have just by being healthy. I hope other women take care of their bodies and aren’t scared to push forward when they know something just isn’t right. It probably would have been much easier mentally if I had ignored the problem rather than having spent the last nine months worrying, having tests, having surgery, worrying, getting results, having surgery, worrying and finally getting results. But wow, if I had just ignored the problem I know I’d be in horrible physical condition!

On that note I am happy to say that that the doctor’s office called today (now yesterday) and officially informed me that the pathology report has come back clean and that it appears the new little lump is not growing and is nothing to worry about right now. No more Lumpectomy’s for me!

On a different note - The dating front is starting to look up, I’ll share more if things continue going in the right direction!